A RESIDENT of Clacton-on-Sea feels the by-election sparked by its grifting, usually absent MP is making the depressing, anachronistic resort look bad.
Reform voter Mary Fisher, 72, expressed her unhappiness in clear view of a dilapidated novelty golf course in which players hit the ball through a broken windmill and the mouth of a hideous plastic clown.
She said: “It’s all joke candidates like Binface and ‘Nick the Incredible Flying Brick’. The only serious one is Nigel, who we all voted for even though he wouldn’t piss on Clacton if it was on fire.
“They’re making us look like idiots with their silly policies about real ale and giving knighthoods to Wallace and Gromit. We need proper politicians like Reform who’ll spend literally all their time banning transgender flags.
“Clacton deserves better. We’re a popular UK holiday resort, if your idea of an excellent holiday is shovelling coins into slot machines, wandering around closed-down shops and stuffing your face with low-quality fish and chips.
“It was stupid of Nigel to trigger the by-election just to distract from his dodgy donations. He should realise we don’t care how corrupt he is so long as he hates poofs and darkies.”
Fellow resident Donna Sheridan said: “To be fair some of the joke candidates are quite funny. Like that one who does a parody of an obsessive transphobic wanker and pretends he was in Lewis.”
