AN incriminating tax controversy means that Zack Polanski has got what it takes to be prime minister, the public believes.
The ‘oversight’ of failing to pay enough council tax has persuaded sceptical Britons that the Green leader is capable of the dodgy financial dealings favoured by other senior politicians.
Floating voter Martin Bishop said: “I wasn’t impressed by all his virtue-signalling and wanting to save the environment. But he’s won me right over by botching his personal finances.
“Cooking the books is part of the PM’s job description. Starmer had his freebies, Boris was up to all manner of fiddles. Polanski might not be embroiled in a Panama Papers-level scandal yet, but by not paying tax on his houseboat he’s proved he’s got potential.”
Nikki Hollis of Brighton said: “The left has long been calling for a crooked Farage figure to call their own, and now they’ve got one. Zack’s even got The Sun onside with his history of boob hypnotism. Number 10’s as good as his.
“That’s unless he messes things up before the next election by outlining a detailed, fully-costed economic plan that benefits those in need. If there’s one thing the public hates, it’s shit like that.”
Polanski said: “I’d like to reassure everyone that I won’t be taking steps to pay back any outstanding council tax. And if any crypto billionaires want to make a donation, I can launder it through a dodgy nail bar I own.”
