THE government has announced that fuel queues and shortages are now so normal they are no longer worth mentioning.
Driving around six petrol stations in order to fill up enough for four days commuting is now as much a part of British life as bacon sandwiches, drizzle in June and The One Show.
A government spokesman said: “Why are we still talking about something that’s been accepted by ordinary, decent people as an unremarkable part of their lives?
“Of course you’re queueing for 90 minutes to get a capped £30 of diesel. Of course you’re cancelling trips to see family because it won’t leave you with enough for the school run. This is Britain. This is how it’s always been, since last week.
“Likewise the empty shelves in supermarkets, the impossibility of getting a builder, and waiting two hours for your meal in a pub. All part of life on this sceptred isle and entirely unremarkable.
“Apart from the hysterical liberal elites shrieking like spoiled children, everyone’s perfectly content. In fact they’re happier. So we’ll hear no more about it on the news, yes?”
He added: “You know what else is normal? Three-day working weeks and winter power cuts. As normal as a steak-and-kidney pie while watching Coronation Street. So shut up in advance.”
