I'll always remember that party summer, by Boris Johnson

THE summer of 2020. For many it was a time of Covid, of lockdowns, of furlough. But I and a hundred close colleagues will always remember it as our party summer. 

As the days lazily rolled on, the sun shining and the streets empty of traffic, there seemed to always be a party blossoming into raucous life on Downing Street.

Whether wine, cheese and a tableful of bottles on May 15th or the full-on 100-person bring-your-own-booze bacchanalia a week later, the champagne was flowing and spirits were high.

Like Jay Gatsby and his gang in the roaring twenties, we had nary a care. While Covid ravaged the country we chinked glasses and mingled in the Eden of Downing Street’s rose garden.

It seemed those days would never end. Even when Cummings was doing his press conference there were 50 people high as kites dancing a Charleston just over the hedge.

Back then nothing could ever go wrong for us. We were young, and free, and full of life and hope. The whole of Britain being locked down simply didn’t matter to us.

But no summer lasts forever. The months advanced, the days got shorter, the rest of the country was allowed to meet six people from a maximum of two households, and the parties lost their delicious savour. We’ll never have that summer again.

No, it was time to put away the rosé, to fold up the garden chairs, to retreat indoors and to begin planning our absolutely f**king massive party winter.

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Piranhas, spontaneous combustion and the Bermuda Triangle: how kids thought they'd meet their doom

REMEMBER when you thought you’d die of something cool, and not from a sedentary lifestyle and poor genes? You were convinced these five things would kill you: 


On TV, thrashing pools of radioactive piranhas devoured heroes in seconds, leaving only skeletons behind. If it could happen to Daffy Duck it could happen to you too. That’s why you refused to go in the sea at Morecambe for three years straight.

Spontaneous human combustion

Images of an old lady who exploded in her kitchen were there whenever you closed your eight-year-old eyes. The worst bit was that it was spontaneous, so it could happen right when you were about to win at Sports Day or snog someone at a school disco.

The Bermuda Triangle

As a kid you never understood it why adults and governments weren’t obsessed with the pressing problem of a triangle of sea where planes and ships disappeared, even when Barry Manilow sang about it. Many were the school trips that you worried your coach to Rhyl would be drawn off-course and you’d end up there.

Global thermonuclear war

Foolish, impressionable children worried about this in the Cold War, but there’s no need to fear now nuclear arms are only held by sober, serious countries like Russia, China, the USA, India, Israel and Britain.


Though unusual, you heard rumours of tornadoes in the UK and spent every waking moment preparing for one. It was frankly shocking that neither parents nor teachers had a plan for being carried away in a wind vortex to the top of the BT Tower.

Killer bees

While you were appropriately scared of king cobras and great white sharks turning up in Nantwich, it was killer bees kept you inside in the summer. Every year a new, deadly type was swarming here from Africa to sting you to death on your 13th birthday before you even got to use your Walkman.