Couple have baby to see if they're ready for a dog

A COUPLE have decided to try out life with a baby to see if they can handle the commitment of owning a dog.

Susan Traherne and Nathan Muir of Barnsley have been together for two year and want to take things to the next level, but are worried about providing a cockapoo with a settled, happy life so are testing the water with a child.

Muir said: “We’re being sensible. Realistically, we’re not financially stable enough to support a dog full-time – we don’t even have an SUV – so a baby is the first step.

“Of course, we’re never going to get as deep or as meaningful a bond with a newborn, but it gives us a good idea of what it’s like to have something to take care of. They might not need walking, but they’re still a burden!”

Traherne agreed: “The whole pregnancy-birth debacle is more time consuming than you’d think. But I said to myself, ‘Susan, if you can’t handle this, how on earth are you going to cope with vet registration forms?’

“Once we’ve got the little critter into a routine, housetrained it, maybe taught it a few tricks we’ll be ready for real responsibility. The baby? My mum can probably take care of it during the day.”

Muir said: “Obviously we still dream of having a dog one day, hopefully even more than one. But for now, while we’re still settling down, some sort of baby will fill that hole in our lives.”

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We're here to play Wimbledon, say Channel migrants

MIGRANTS in the English Channel are trying to enter the country in order to play in Wimbledon, they have claimed. 

Following Novak Djokovic’s triumph against Australia’s legal system, migrants on Dungeness beaches are informing border officials they are seeded for the All England Lawn Tennis Championships.

Migrant Fawad Zahir said: “We’re early, but there’s qualifications and the Queen’s beforehand. Wimbledon’s not just one fortnight, you know.

“Many of us are unranked wildcards so we need all the preparation time we can get. Any one of us could be the English Djokovic.”

Fellow migrant Yasaman Yazdani said: “It seemed worrying when the Border Force pulled up alongside us, but we waved our rackets and they laughed, shook their heads at their own stupidity, and escorted us to land.

“A cheering throng lined the clifftops of Dover to welcome us. The English are famed for their hospitality to tennis players, but so heartwarming to see in real life.”

Border guard Stephen Malley said: “They’re not English, but as they pointed out neither is Andy Murray so there’s wiggle room.”