OWEN Paterson has resigned his position as an MP while keeping the job he got in trouble for that earned him half-a-million pounds.
The former member for Shropshire North has been forced to end his glittering political career by cruel malcontents, with only the minor consolation of his lucrative lobbying work.
He said: “The government risked its whole reputation to save me from a 30-day suspension before changing its mind. They could have tried harder but their loss.
“This means I will lose my MP’s salary of £81,932, which will be a severe blow, while keeping my consulting positions with Randox and Lynn’s Country Foods which earn me a mere £120k a year for six weeks’ work. I’ve been sorely punished.
“I will remain a public servant and will serve the public by taking on even more consultancies and lobbying government, but for vastly more money, and less hassle.
“I will also earn shitloads giving rabidly pro-Brexit speeches, but I hope not to end up as the leader of UKIP. Boris will have me in the Lords before a year’s out. They’re in dire need of more nutters.”