THE prime minister has shoved a large pair of socks into his underpants ahead of today's state visit by French president Nicolas Sarkozy.
Mr Brown has inserted a rolled-up pair of tube socks which he plans to wiggle casually in front of Carla Bruni, the former supermodel-turned- singer-turned-unbelievably hot wife.
The prime minister is expected to urge the French president to increase his troop commitment in Afghanistan before telling Madame Sarkozy that he still works out.
Mr Brown's spokesman said: "He'll then move onto how clever he is and the fact that he reads two books a week, and hey, maybe one of them is a sex manual.
"He'll also discuss the fact that he used to play quite a lot of rugby but had to scale it back because, you know, he's got a country to run and stuff.
"The prime minister will then tell a funny story about how his good friend Bono once compared him to John Lennon and inform Madame Sarkozy that if she wants to meet Bono he can totally arrange it."
The two leaders and their wives are expected to meet in the Downing Street banquet room surrounded by Mr Brown's weights, his acoustic guitar and some of his favourite volumes of French love poetry.
The spokesman added: "He'll round off the summit by asking Madame Sarkorzy if she has any Scottish in her."