Easier to just assume someone from UKIP has said something offensive this week

BRITONS should save time reading news articles by assuming a UKIP politician has recently made some offensive remarks, it has been claimed.

Following the resignation of UKIP candidate Kerry Smith over comments about Chinese people and homosexuals, researchers found that this sort of thing just keeps happening so you don’t need the specifics.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Every week, a sallow UKIP man aged between 30 and 55 in a bad cheap suit or a bad expensive suit is going be in hot water for using 80s playground terminology about some section of society.

“After an initial bit of grovelling they will have to bugger off, because thankfully we do not yet live in a society where that sort of thing is fine.

“Reading about these things one feels a mixture of contempt, pity and fear, none of which are positive emotions. So don’t bother and spend that time in a park, feeding the birds and squirrels.”