THERESA May has pledged to spend £350m a week negotiating Britain’s exit from the EU.
The prime minister has emphasised the economic advantages to be gained from Brexit, and has promised to ‘spend, spend, spend’ to make them a reality.
May said: “The key to a successful negotiation is to play it cool. That’s why I have set up a Department for Brexit which will be based in a brand-new building made entirely of British materials, like fibreglass and tin.
“David Davis and his army of £5000-a-day lawyers will fly to Brussels in titanium helicopters to strike the best deals possible for this country.”
May also promised that as a cost-saving measure, all EU flags would be replaced by portraits of the Queen.
Brexit campaigner Roy Hobbs said: “It’s great news for Britain that we won’t be wasting our money on things like research and education and jobs.
“If I were prime minister, I’d erect a scale model of Brussels somewhere near Dover and set fire to it, to prove we’re a proper country that makes serious decisions.”