Monday, 10th May 2021

Johnson hits back at Cummings by revealing lockdown Durham trip was illegal

BORIS Johnson has hit back at Dominic Cummings by revealing his aide’s drive to Durham last year breached lockdown regulations. 

The British public has been shocked to the core by the revelation that the trip, which was explained to their complete satisfaction in Downing Street’s rose garden by Cummings, was actually illegal all along.

Johnson said: “There. Didn’t expect that did you, you four-eyed Mekon twat?

“I’m sorry, Britain, but Dom misled you. It actually isn’t perfectly reasonable for a man who suspects he has Covid to load his family into the car and drive 270 miles to Durham. It’s actually bad.

“And what’s more, Covid isn’t known to affect the eyesight, and even if it did going for a drive to a beauty spot on your wife’s birthday is a terrible way to test it. There. That’s bloody got you.

“In fact, and I hate to hit you with this bombshell Britain, but Dom was actually lying about the whole thing. It was all a load of weak, preposterous excuses. What do you think about that?”

Bill McKay of Peterborough said: “No. I just can’t believe it. Not Dom.”