LEAVING the EU will prevent Britons from ever having sex again, George Osborne has warned.
The chancellor says his own research proves Brexit will make everyone so worried about the economy they will completely lose interest in sexual intercourse.
Osborne said: “The economic uncertainty will be so stressful that all British men will immediately become impotent. The effect will be permanent.
“Women will find it impossible to get in the mood because they’ll be worrying about renegotiating trade tariffs. Also the French will have cut off our supply of sexy lingerie so they’ll all have to wear massive Primark pants.
“In any case the economy will be in such trouble you won’t be able to afford food, so you’ll be too weak for anything except very light petting.”
Eleanor Shaw, from Swindon, said: “What about bawdy sex jokes, like laughing at carrots that look like penises, especially when arranged with two tomatoes.
“Surely nothing can take that away from us?”