Gallery visit sparks lifelong hatred of culture

A TEENAGER has vowed to shun anything of artistic value for the rest of his life.

After a trip to the National Gallery yesterday which he claimed lasted 17 hours, 13-year-old Nathan Muir will dedicate his life to unrelenting philistinism.

Muir said: “I could hear mum whispering to dad that it was important for me to be exposed to art at an early age, little realising I was already planning my career in finance as revenge.

“I made a point of saying ‘wow, that’s incredible’ at one point but that was when I saw the profit they were making in the café on a can of coke.”

Muir’s parents were encouraged by his Lego-building abilities at an early age without realising their six-year-old son was attempting to build a replica of Price Waterhouse Cooper’s head office in London.

Muir added: “If they drag my arse to the ballet, I’m going to become an Ellie Goulding fan to teach them a lesson.”