POLITICS is to be run on a season-to-season basis like football, in order to give the public regular breaks from the unbearable quantity of shit.
With even the most hardened politics fans currently sickened by the very thought of it, the introduction of a three month period where no politics is allowed has met with widespread support.
Political strategist Martin Bishop said: “Everyone needs a fucking break from politics once in a while. Outside of the season, even members of the public will be banned from discussing it.
“We are also thinking of some sort of Politics European Cup but that’s looking less and less likely with every day.”
It has also been announced that MPs leaving parties will be limited to a ‘politician transfer window’ in July and January.
Bishop added: “The new system would mean parties could also buy politicians from each other with the Bosman system also being available for MPs without parties.”
Douglas Carswell is currently available on a free transfer though the takers are looking severely limited with many suggesting Tony Hibbert would be better value for money.