Salmond’s Face To Be Projected On To Moon Night Before Election

THE SNP election campaign will reach a spectacular climax this week when the face of party leader Alex Salmond is projected on to the surface of the moon.

People across the northern hemisphere will be able to see Salmond's gigantic face from 10.30pm on Wednesday until around 3am the following morning.

An SNP spokesman said: "With around of 40% of voters undecided, what could be more impressive than Alex Salmond beaming down at you from space?

"We think it will give voters a tremendous sense of calm and well-being."

He added: "Obviously we're going to focus-group the whole thing and if the feedback is positive we'll look at projecting the Leader's face on to the moon on other occasions such as St Andrew's Day and Alex's birthday." 

Extra police will be on hand in several Lochaber villages where, according to Salmond, he is already worshipped as, "some kind of supernatural astronaut".

"They might think it's the end of the world and start sacrificing whatever or whoever they can get their hands on," said a police spokesman.

"It's probably best if there's a uniformed officer there to reassure them."