SUELLA Braverman’s pedestrian unpleasantness was feeble compared to the pure, glittering evil of her predecessor, British people have confirmed.
After the Home Secretary resigned due to breaking rules on handling confidential information, voters say she could never have lived up to Priti Patel’s unholy wickedness anyway.
Lucy Phipps, from Swanage, said: “You could tell she was trying to be bad, but it was pretty lame. Calling protesters ‘Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati’ is the kind of embarrassing shit my Uncle Roy writes in the Daily Mail comments section.
“Yeah, she said all that mad stuff about it being her dream to deport immigrants to Rwanda but it had a really try-hard, hammy vibe, like a Wicked Stepmother in a crap, provincial pantomime.
“Priti Patel, on the other hand, had a kind of innate, dead-eyed malevolence that made you genuinely frightened of her. Which isn’t what I want in a politician, but at least she was authentically awful.
“What about Grant Shapps? Don’t care. With the rate Tory ministers are dropping he’ll only be in the job for a couple of weeks, so I can’t be arsed forming an opinion.”
