DOMINIC Raab is spending his final day in office on one last wild, no-holds-barred bullying spree.
The deputy prime minister is racing around Whitehall throwing files, belittling senior civil servants and giving cabinet members atomic wedgies in advance of an independent report into complaints about his conduct.
A Downing Street insider said: “Give it up for Raab. He’s making Priti Patel look a proper lazy bitch.
“Nobody’s safe. He’s got spads terrified to go to the toilet in case he looms up behind them in the mirror, then he’s suddenly in their office screaming an inch from their faces until they piss themselves.
“Already today he’s given Lindsay Hoyle a swirlie, whacked Black Rod in the nuts with his own ceremonial mace, and twisted the permanent secretary to the Treasury’s arm up behind his back until he said ‘I like getting bummed by the EU’.
“Just casually walking down a corridor on the way to pantsing Sir Patrick Vallance he’s knocked three coffees over suits, sent Oliver Dowden sprawling and whacked a 450-page white paper over the gallery, scattering pages everywhere.
“The man does what he loves and he loves to bully. Why do you think I’m only wearing half a tie?”