REFORM have narrowly edged ahead of the Conservatives in a battle to be Britain’s most unelectable right-wing arseholes.
Nigel Farage’s party are now the ones 18 points behind Labour and will also be defeated heavily at the general election, which is an incredible step forward for them.
Farage said: “Well, who’s the opposition doomed to a catastrophic loss and a decade out of government now, bitches?
“When voters walk to the polls next month, trying to choose between an inoffensive centrist and a bunch of right-wing headbangers with nothing to offer but rabid, glint-eyed xenophobia, it’ll be my face that swims into their head and causes them to vote Labour. Ha!
“We’re fractionally less repellent than the Tories, which is obviously cause for great celebration. Now you have no choice but to hand the Conservatives over to me, who might get elected for the first time on my eighth try.
“Yes, you’ll probably have a hundred or so MPs and I might have two, one of whom was your deputy chairman until March, but be in no doubt I hold the whip hand.
“Can we delay my annexing your party like Adolf in ’38 until November? Only I’m in the US helping a convicted felon who tried to overthrow democracy get elected.”
