THE prime minister has brightly asked her new cabinet if any of them have any ideas on how to fix anything.
The new cabinet, which has been chosen based on their talent for supporting Liz Truss, has been advised of the numerous problems facing the UK and have been asked to raise their hands when they have solutions.
Truss, who has a notepad, said: “So, energy bills. Nobody can afford to pay them but because the country’s deeply in debt neither can we. Any easy fixes for that?
“Inflation’s also a bit of a biggie. We can’t raise wages but we can’t let interest rates get too high or everyone will lose their houses. In need of some blue-sky thinking there. Kwasi?
“Also apparently there’s a real danger of thousands of businesses closing, which we need not to happen and not to be due to Brexit. Jacob, that’s your area. Say whatever comes into your head, there are no wrong answers.
“Also there are strikes, the housing crisis, immigration, the NHS, social care, rising crime, sewage dumping, Scottish independence, the Northern Ireland border, climate change and the Ukraine war. Any thoughts on any of those? Looking for quick wins. Anyone?”
Following three hours of largely unbroken silence, the cabinet broke for a lovely long lunch.