KEIR Starmer is to suggest that around 90 per cent of Britain be demolished so it can be rebuilt properly.
In his speech at the Labour party conference, the leader will explain that 13 years of Tory rule preceded by 31 years of naked Thatcherism means the UK is pretty much f**ked.
He said: “Wander into your town centre. Closed shops, Poundstretcher being robbed by gangs, Wetherspoons. Does this look worth fixing?
“Our flats have flammable cladding on, our schools have RAAC roofs, our trainlines can’t even reach Manchester. The Houses of Parliament are coming down. So let’s level the lot and start again.
“You can keep your house, if it’s not a nasty new-build, and we’ll hang onto a few of the more historic places. But the rest of this shit, massive metal sheds alongside motorways and all, is being swept into the sea. Making Britain, by the way, even bigger.
“Then we’ll rebuild it, putting the infrastructure in first, and live in a lovely country that isn’t littered with broken bits of Tory rule. Who’s with me?”
Starmer added: “Where will we live while it’s going on? In caravans, Grand Designs-style. Causing a massive and much-needed rise in the birthrate.”