A CONSERVATIVE MP has admitted he is delaying the inevitable trip to have Boris, his much-loved golden Labrador that shits everywhere, put down.
Tom Booker, member for Thurrock, conceded that his beloved pet is past its best, may be deaf, no longer obeys behavioural rules, destroys things and is terminally incontinent, but cannot help but remember the good times.
He said: “He’s barely able to function now. He makes a terrible mess everywhere he goes. But I can’t help it. I still look at him and see the companion who promised so much.
“He was so lively and jaunty and fun, even people who hated dogs liked him. Everywhere you took him he’d win people round. Even when he got caught being naughty, they’d just say ‘Oh, Boris’.
“But now, since he’s developed this problem of catastrophically shitting himself then dragging his arse over all the carpets in a misguided attempt to clean it up, he’s a liability. I know he’s got no future. But I look into those bewildered eyes and can’t do it.
“I know he’s got to go. I know he has. I know he’s in pain, and it’s not fair to let him suffer like this, and it’s for his own good. But I’m not ready yet.”
He added: “Come here Boris. Come here boy. Who’s a good Boris? Is it – f**king hell, he’s f**king bitten me. Call the vet.”