Why I am leaving Wetherspoons to get shitfaced independently

By former Wetherspoons customer Roy Hobbs

THIS is not a decision I have taken lightly, but I will no longer be drinking extremely cheap beer in Wetherspoons at a frankly ridiculous time in the morning.

While I remain as committed as ever to daytime drinking, I feel Spoons no longer reflects my views, forcing me to join a new, forward-looking group of borderline alcoholics at The Grey Wolf.

I refer, of course, to the new karaoke night on Thursdays, which is just a bloody racket and makes it hard to get served, but there is also the small matter of Brexit.

Wetherspoons’ stance on Brexit conflicts with my deeply held conviction that it’s a bunch of arse. Regulars like Ken may disagree, but I’m sick of having my Old Peculiar ruined by their woefully optimistic economic predictions.

I also sense a growing intolerance. My local Spoons no longer serves the lovely 9% German beer, Drachenmeister, for just £1.40. Limited stocks or Britain’s shameful rise in xenophobia? You decide.

And so I am joining The Grey Wolf, a pub that combines traditional all-day drinking with progressive ideas like their Bacon and Pineapple Hawaiian Double Cheeseburger.

I just hope it doesn’t shut down in the near future, because then I won’t have any pub to go to and will have to drink Tesco lager alone at home.