FOURTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, talks through his Holidays with his non-crew fam
WAGWAN, festive fam? Peng tidings to you an’ your crew. Christmas been nang for man.
Active J bustin’ da latest Xbox, an’ flexin’ a peng black North Face hoody, boxfresh black Air Max 95s to replace man’s scuffed black Air Max 95s, an’ a hooge stash of Prime henergy drinks by da boss, KSI. Man is gassed.
But den man finds out on Snap wasteman Drilla gets da same 95s as Active J, instead of da black Air Force like him’s halready got. Safe tho’, coz man’s is half size bigger, so man’s is better coz there is more ov dem, still.
Famdem invaded man’s crib on Christmas Day, sayin’ how much man has grown an’ callin’ man Joshua! Bare vexed.
Christmas dinna woz rank too. No takeout, not even Maccy Ds drive-thru? An’ wot da flip is stuffin’, bruv? Den man couldn’t get him’s cracker hat over him’s new hood. Bare rippin’ all da time, told parents they shudda put beanies in dem crackers hinstead.
After da dinna, man’s parents did sad charades game. Wasteman fam not get Active J’s ‘Straight Outta Compton’ ting. Blud know nuffink habout gangsta rap.
Den on da X-Boxing Day, parents wanted Active J to do da rank countryside walk ting. Man told dem Miss Jackson had set ‘omework, but man pure busted GTA Online all day hinstead, an’ swigged Prime henergy drink, for henergy.
But Active J felt too hactive, like him’s heart was trippin’ an’ man’s eyes woz makin’ stars happear keepin’ man bare awake all of da night.
Man don’t get how it called da X-Boxing Day before X-Box. Must be like Christmas Day woz dat before J-Christ woz born.
Active J bare dead wasted today from no sleep an’ vexed from no vapin’. Met mandem crew on da school hastroturf, to check new drip an’ post old drip on D-Pop for cash, innit. Gave Drilla a poundin’ for being a copycat wasteman.
Man got a gift for gyal Lady G, a peng pumpkin spice vape an’ Active J got a gift from Lady G, a Bubblegum an’ Blueberry vape, two of man’s favourites flavas in da one vape.
Gyal even went to a different corner shop for Active J. Gyal peng. Man ‘avin’ feelin’s for Christmas after all, innit.