Every woman in Britain fantasises about Nigel Farage when making love. And most of the men

By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist who believes that once we’ve sent the migrants to Rwanda, we should nuke it

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Why I still shoplift from newsagents, by Timothée Chalamet

PIN-UP and Wonka star Chalamet tells us why fame hasn’t changed him and he still sticks a Yorkie up his jumper whenever he pops into a high street newsagent: 

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now