By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist who believes hanging is both too good for them and all they deserve
THERE’S a point at which it’s time to stop fixing and start again, and Britain has reached it with our woke BLM-kneeling gender-obsessed Marxist fifth-columnist teachers.
They cannot be curbed or restrained. They will never abandon their beloved curriculum of evil colonialists, radical self-care and deviant sex acts for reading, writing and arithmetic.
Teach English history? Why, the disgust coursing through their vegan veins at the thought would surely poison them. Imagine them, horrifiedly mumbling that yes, Britain won yet another war.
Maths? The adding of two and two to make four? Unthinkable. Instead, the blue-haired non-binary teacher would explain that two and two makes whatever marginalised identities on Twitter tell you it is, and anything else is white supremacy.
And these pampered ideologues brainwashing a generation dare to strike? I thought they renounced money along with the rest of capitalism when they swore their allegiance to Mao.
Fire the lot of them. Summary dismissal. Let them educate the public with multi-racial puppets bumming each other on street corners, if they’ve such a passion for it.
Who to replace them with? Literally anyone. The common sense of the daytime club at The Felix Holt, Nuneaton’s town centre Wetherspoons, would do me.
They may be unemployed drinkers, but I bet they know who won at Trafalgar. I bet they know we invented everything from the toothbrush to the steam engine to the X-Factor format. And if they couldn’t add up their pennies of a morning they’d still have the shakes.
Fire the anarchists and hire the alkies. Teaching has hit such a profound low in this country that we honestly couldn’t do worse. Criminal records be damned.
