WHEN Chris Hemsworth is filming movies like the worst Thor one in Britain, he heads to Boots for lunch just like any office worker. He explains how he gets value out of his Meal Deal.
Take your time
Believe it or not, there are seven million possible Meal Deal combinations so don’t rush into this. Remember, it’s costing you at least £3.59. Walk the aisle. Ignore requests for selfies by explaining you’re focusing on your Meal Deal right now. And always, always pick your main first and build around it.
Think about the meal as a whole
Meditate and picture your whole meal. Have you combined a bland main with a bland snack? Is a vegan Southern Fried Wrap going to be outshone by Sweet Chilli Kettle Chips? Will a Shaken Udder Strawberries & Cream shake be too much? Visualise. Picture, then buy.
Ask the staff
If you’re in the area, which I was to film some bullshit commercial for Dubai I got paid millions for, then Carole of the Dagenham branch is a Meal Deal sensei. She’ll chat to you about something seemingly unrelated then bam – out of nowhere she’s recommending the Roast Chicken and Bacon sandwich with salt & vinegar Hippeas and Smart Water. She’s never wrong. If I ever win an Oscar I’ll thank her first.
Don’t fill up on the fizzy
They’re refreshing, but fizzy drinks are the enemy of a successful meal deal. Always choose a still drink. The last thing an experienced Meal Dealer wants is to realise halfway through their Shapers Prawn Cocktail Layered Pasta Salad they’re too gassy for their Quavers. It’s a marathon not a sprint.
When I was filming the first Thor movie, I’d snack all day. Ken Branagh had to sit me down and say ‘Chris, we’re blowing the budget. The whole production could get shut down. Have you tried a Boots Meal Deal?’ Changed my life, dude. There’s no shame in going for the best possible saving, and currently that’s a Chicken Sandwich Triple Pack, Trek Protein Bar and Naked Smoothie. Unbeatable.
Not all items are eligible, and the last thing you want is to get to the checkout with a rogue snack pot and be forced back to the chillers looking a dick. Or worse, you’ll pay full for your main, drink and snack because you got sloppy. This happened when I was in London filming Men in Black: International and I’m pretty sure it’s why it was a worldwide flop. I was so pissed about the Advantage Points I’d missed I couldn’t be bothered to act.