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The Archbishop of Canterbury on… an army of f**king robot Murdochs

WAKING up in my chambers, which confuses me momentarily, I recall the momentous events of yesterday. I was to deliver the eulogy of the former Bishop of Tyne & Wear, a much beloved Christian gentlemen whose passing was mourned by all. 

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Mash Blind Date: No woman can withstand my pick-up artist techniques

RECRUITMENT consultant Dan, 31, has studied pick-up techniques, and attempts to use emotional manipulation to make women sleep with him. Teacher Holly, 28, is a normal human being. 

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