WOMEN have agreed that of all the pathetic things men are far too obsessed with, football is easily the worst.
Being an ardent football supporter beats cycling, cars, comics, vinyl, trains, video games and hardcore pornography on the grounds of being omnipresent, mood-altering and sanctioned by society.
Hannah Tomlinson, whose boyfriend supports Leeds, said: “It’s tragic being into vinyl, but the whole weekend isn’t ruined by My Bloody Valentine losing 3-0 to Ride.
“It’s shameful being a comics geek, but there’s only a Marvel film out every few months. Not twice a f**king week and dominating every Saturday night because of Match of the cocking Day.
“You can’t escape football. It’s always there, breathing down your neck, telling you what Bamford’s xG is or why Haaland’s as bad for City as Ronaldo was for Man U. No matter how little of a shit you give.
“It costs loads, it’s boring, he wears the shirt down the pub and looks a knobhead, and come June they’re getting relegated and he’ll spend the whole summer being a whingy little bitch about it.
“It honestly doesn’t have any redeeming features. Except that it’s not f**king rugby.”