MONEY and woke rules have ruined modern sports, according to old-school fan Roy Hobbs. Here’s his take on why today’s athletes can never compare to these gods:
Before VAR and the invention of diving by the French, football was a proper, masculine sport. George Best would have had no time for all the namby-pamby, salad-eating, alcohol-free crap that today’s players indulge in. He drank 15 pints every day and died at the age of 59, like a real man.
Anyone who’s ever tried to accurately strike a snooker ball while holding a lit fag between pursed lips knows how impressive the career of Alex Higgins is. As well as being good at the game, he was an impressively violent bloke who punched referees during play, and also squandered three million quid on booze, drugs and gambling. What a hero.
Thanks to some bad PR from several historic dictators, the moustache has gone out of favour among real men. Yet anyone of a certain vintage knows that there was no greater ‘tache than Nigel Mansell’s, and no greater racing driver. He’s sadly shaved it off since he stopped racing and lost all his power. His wife probably made him, like Delilah did to Samson.
In the old days there was no fancy camera to show if a tennis ball was out or not, so the umpire had to guess. And if you didn’t like their decision, you could throw a massive tantrum and chuck things around, like you do when someone spills your pint in a pub. John McEnroe was the king of this. Legend.
Yes, Maradona is foreign, but I’m prepared to overlook that because he’s such a geezer. Only a proper man would have the balls to get away with blatant cheating by calling it ‘The hand of God’. Bonus points to him for pissing off Gary Lineker in the England squad, who has subsequently turned out to be the kind of woke leftie that is ruining Britain.