MCLAREN racing driver Fernando Alonso was last night coming to terms with the harsh reality that he may be forced to earn £20 million a year somewhere else.
Alonso has been locked in a bitter feud with team mate Lewis Hamilton over who has the most bubbles in their post-race champagne.
The Spanish world champion has complained that a move to Ferrari would force him to have sex with women who are marginally less eye-poppingly gorgeous than those currently hanging around the Mclaren team.
Alonso told a Spanish newspaper: "Some of these Ferrari girls have only a 'C' cup and their heels are about half a centimetre too high.
"But I will gladly have sex with every one of these flat-chested women if it means I will not have to be insulted with such disgusting, lifeless champagne."
The two men hope to settle the issue at the penultimate race of the season. Regardless of the result of the Chinese Grand Prix, the rivals will stage a cock fight in the car park.
Hamilton has been training a two year-old Buff Orpington, while Alonso's favourite bird "Santiago" is being fed on a diet of carrots and frozen peas.
Alonso added: "My Santiago is a proud cock with many victories. This scrawny English bird will die like a chicken."