Everyone injured at middle-aged football game

A GAME of football between 40-year-old friends has left everyone involved injured.

Retail manager Tom Booker organised the casual game at a local sports centre, and was the first to be carried off as his ankle gave out while walking onto the pitch.

Booker said: “I thought I was still pretty fit for my age but perhaps working in an office has taken its toll. I was definitely disappointed to be out of proceedings before they began.”

Booker’s 43-year-old cousin Roy Hobbs was next to succumb, dislocating his knee by kicking the ball. He said: “The lady from the sports centre put some ice on it but it looks like a grapefruit. I might have to go to hospital.”

The pattern continued when Booker’s brother-in-law Stephen Malley jumped up to head the ball, injuring both his back and neck in the process.

He said: “I heard a crack, and then another crack. Probably some discs or cartilage or something, whatever it is I won’t be going to work this week.”

After the 12 minutes’ warm-up kickabout, all players on both teams were injured and the pitch was empty apart from an overweight marketing executive who couldn’t get up.

Tom Booker said: “It was still fun though, we’ll definitely do it again next week.”