‘Wenger’ becomes a verb

TO go out shopping and return home empty handed is now described as to ‘Wenger’.

The Oxford English Dictionary said ‘Wengering’ is a tendency found in stubborn, parsimonious middle aged men who cannot handle the concept of inflation.

Examples of ‘Wengering’ include: “I went to Marks And Spencer under orders to buy some new socks. But they didn’t have any like the last ones I bought in 1976, so I Wengered, came home and asked my wife to darn old my old pairs instead.”

Or there is: “My toilet had sprung a leak but the plumber I called was charging £50 an hour. So I Wengered – I had my son try to fix it instead, as part of my youth policy. The toilet flooded the bathroom but the important thing is, I stuck to my philosophy.”

Or alternatively: “I am a multi-millionaire whose children desperately need new bikes for Christmas. But I went to Halfords only to Wenger when I saw the prices.

“Imagine the faces of my children when they open their presents on Christmas day, to find their old bikes patched up with sellotape. I will explain to them that now they are mended they are the same as new bikes.

“In any case, they will be more than adequate for the brief trip we are making to Europe this year.”