THE World Cup football tournament is stupid and England did not want to win it anyway, it has emerged.
Last night’s 2-1 defeat by Argentina does not matter in any way because grown men running around in shorts kicking a ball is ridiculous and pointless when you think about it.
England manager Thomas Tuchel said: “Argentina may have got the ball in the net twice, but what does that prove? They’re good at kicking round things at bits of string? That’s useful – not.
“It’s not as if they did something amazing like inventing the jet engine. Football isn’t even a proper sport anyway. Not like golf, that takes real skill. I’d like to see Fernández get the ball in a hole that wasn’t the size of a caravan.”
Team captain Harry Kane said: “None of the lads were bothered about winning anyway. For us it’s just a fun way of keeping fit. I spoke to Anthony Gordon earlier and he’d forgotten we even had a match last night.
“The trophy’s really tacky and you’re not allowed to keep it anyway. If someone gave that to me I know where I’d put it – in the bin.”
Speaking from Atlanta, England fan Martin Bishop said: “I actually find it quite sad when people take football too seriously. Like Argentina. What a bunch of losers.”
