Blue Peter Editor Will Make Pets Fight

BLUE Peter will make its pets fight on screen if viewers don't pay its £50,000 fine for faking a competition result, the show's editor said last night.

Roger Morton will set Mabel the rescue dog on Shelley the tortoise if viewers do not pledge at least £10,000 by the end of the week.

Mabel and Lucy the Golden Retriever will then go head-to-head in the Italian Sunken Garden if the full £50,000 is not donated by the end of July.

Phone-in scams, extortion and dog fights have become increasingly common in the Blue Peter studio since the show was taken over by Triad gangs in 2003.

Mr Morton said Blue Peter was only caught because of a 'stupid fucking speccy girl' who had visited the show.

"We had got clean away with our little scam until that frumpy cow dropped us in it. It was a kid who ratted on us, so it's the kids who have to pay."

The editor said children could send in old milk bottle tops and plastic bottles 'if they must', but he was more interested in pocket money and parent’s credit card details.

He added: "Parents probably don't want their children turned into bedwetting neurotics by having to witness a much loved animal being eviscerated live on TV." 

Viewers could also raise money by running their own fake games at school or kidnapping their friends' pets and holding them for ransom, he said.

The BBC gave it's full backing to the latest Blue Peter fundraising appeal.

A spokesman said: "The alternative would be for us to ask the licence fee payer to pay the fine and that would just be an insult, wouldn't it?"

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One Woman's Week: Lovers' Tiff

By Karen Fenessey

I HAD an argument last night with my boyfriend, Donny. He can be such a pig sometimes, but I do love him despite that. He took me on holiday to Venice recently and although I was very grateful I have to say – it's a bit of a dump. I honestly don't know why people rave about it so much.

But anyway, last night we were sitting watching the news on TV and we heard that BBC journalist Alan Johnston had been released by his kidnappers in Palestine.

Obviously I would have felt sorry for him and his family if he had died but that's not to say I sympathise with people like him.

After all, he is a member of the paparazzi and it's people like him who are responsible for the death of Princess Diana and terrorising other poor people who just want to be left alone.

He was probably trying to take seedy snaps of some poor television star when he was kidnapped – so if you ask me he deserved it.

Donny seemed to think that you should forgive people who are in jobs which lead you into a less than moral way of life (like journalists for example), but he wasn't able to argue his point very well.

In the end he conceded that he was taking a very weak viewpoint. Being a teacher I am very good at constructing an academic argument and he just wasn't eloquent enough.

Donny did finally apologise so there's no harm done, I suppose.

He's also promised that I can choose the destination of our next holiday so I'm not so disappointed with it – it's one thing buying a surprise gift like that for your girlfriend, but it's a pretty empty gesture if you take her somewhere that's not up to scratch.