Thursday, 22nd April 2021

Dog running out of butcher's with string of sausages absolutely disgusted with himself

A DOG who has stolen another string of sausages from an unwitting butcher has admitted his life is 'out of control'.

Guilt-ridden terrier Bill McKay has once again found himself sprinting down the high street of his small town with a chubby, red-faced man in hot pursuit.

It is the second time this month that McKay has stolen meat while the butcher's back was turned, even though he promised himself he would stop.

McKay said: "I'm better than this. I know I am. There's perfectly good food from a tin at home. Do I have a subconscious desire to be caught?

"And that poor man having to chase after me. Life is hard enough for small, independent traders without the likes of me and my self-destructive impulses.

"I know I can stop. I will stop. This is the last time."

McKay's previous record is seven weeks without meat theft, while he was wearing one of those head cones.