Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson

1. BORIS Johnson is an untrustworthy bag of guts who feels, whereas this is a chihuahua called Ian who would not break up the UK or shout at his girlfriend.

2. Unlike Boris Johnson, Ian the chihuahua has not changed his opinion on anything. Ever. He is, by the way, also a full three inches taller than Nigel Farage.

3. Ian has a credible plan to avoid a no-deal Brexit by yapping like a f*cking lunatic outside Arlene Foster’s house for 16 hours.

4. Ian may not have had a classical education at Eton and Oxford but he’s also never conspired to have anyone beaten up – apart from a King Charles spaniel known locally as ‘Geoff the Tw*t’.

5. Boris Johnson wants to cut taxes for the better off, but Ian just wants to sit on your face.


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Man who used washing up liquid in dishwasher honestly thinks he can live by himself

A 36 YEAR-old man who used a generous dose of washing up liquid in his dishwasher has vowed to carry on looking after himself.

Bachelor Tom Logan used Fairy liquid after running out of tablets, while also congratulating himself because  it was a ‘much cheaper option’.

However, to his complete surprise he returned to his kitchen to find it slowly filling with soap bubbles spewing from the machine.

Logan said: “Who knew? Well, it turns out, absolutely everybody, including my friends, my family, even my five year-old niece.”

Although Logan has been urged by friends to move back home he his is adamant he can live independently.

He added: “I’ll take my dirty dishes to my mum’s once a fortnight.”