She’s No Virgin, Say Friends Of ‘Miracle’ Shark
MIRACLE shark Lorraine Chelsy is a 'skanky liar' who claimed she had a virgin birth to stop her mum going mad at her for getting pregnant, say her friends.
Lorraine has attracted the attention of scientists and senior figures in the Catholic Church this week after claiming her shark pup arrived without sexual relations.
However, her friends say that Lorraine made the whole thing up because she was terrified her strict religious mother would throw her out for being an unmarried mum.
One said: "Lorraine is so far from being a virgin it’s untrue. She may not know who the father is, but that’s only because it could be one of many. She’s nothing but a little tart."
When confronted, Lorraine’s mum Betty Chelsy angrily denied the claims saying the other girl sharks were "just jealous" of the attention.
Meanwhile, a Vatican spokesman confirmed that the Catholic Church was investigating the virgin birth story.
He said: "We have not had one of these confirmed for a couple of thousand years now and let me tell you they are great for business when you can stand them up.
"We could get a whole new marketing campaign out of this one if it’s true, and at the very least a new shrine linked to an aquatic theme park, hotel and championship golf course. It could be a real money spinner."