Woodpecker and weasel already talking about having kids

A WOODPECKER and a weasel have moved in together and are ‘excited about starting a family’.

The two animals met yesterday in a field and admitted their attraction was ‘immediate and intense’.

The woodpecker said: “We caught each other’s gaze and we both just knew we had to have each other at once – but we wanted it to be in a special, private place.

“So I just said, ‘trust me – jump on my back and let’s get the hell out of here’.”

The weasel added: “I’m still too knackered to think straight, but I know it feels right.

“Last night we were both so giddy that we talked about kids and names and even the quality of the local schools.

“And I have promised that if we do have children I will try not to eat all of them.”