THE steaming Jurassic jungles were alive with the sound of dinosaurs that sounded like aggrieved Scousers, paleontologists have claimed.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, has examined the throats of major breeds of dinosaur and insists they would have produced a noise similar to a rusty wheel spinning in a tuba full of phlegm.
His theory, confirmed by Wikipedia, suggests the extinction of the dinosaurs may have been caused by mass suicide after the giant creatures could no longer bear to listen to themselves.
Professor Brubaker said: “Dinosaurs existed for 160 million years. So anyone who’s used the Euston to Liverpool train – a journey time of just three hours – can fully appreciate the true horror.
“The primordial plains would have sounded like the outside of Yates’ Wine Lodge after last orders.”
He added: “Dinosaurs have been portrayed as slow-moving, dimwitted and prone to shitting where they stood. But most were sneaky, vicious bastards that would wreck your house and bite your face off if they weren’t behind bars.
“Like Bootle on a Saturday night.”
