A DOG who just heard its owner say the word ‘walk’ appears to have snorted a mountain of high-quality cocaine.
After accidentally saying ‘walk’ within earshot of his five-year-old Labrador, Bruce, James Bates was distraught to see the dog excitedly start bounding around the house, causing a trail of destruction.
As Bruce cannoned into a side-table, Bates said: “As every owner of a large, energetic dog knows, my existence is an incessant living hell.
“I was just innocently asking Alexa to play ‘Walk This Way’, and before I knew it, there was a five-stone beast hurtling about the house like a coked-up Charlie Sheen.”
Bruce said: “I can’t help it. As soon as I think I’m going on an amazing, exciting walk it’s like I’ve taken a massive hit from a crack-pipe and I start bouncing off the walls. The walk never lives up to expectations, but I’m a dog so I can’t make rational predictions about the future.
“Even if I hear you say something that sounds like ‘walk’ I go off my nut. The other day James was talking to his wife about the actor Christopher Walken, and I had to hurl myself around the living room and almost break the TV.”
Bates’ wife Lauren said: “When this gacked-up hound eventually dies, we’re getting a cat who doesn’t turn into Scarface at the end of the movie.”