APART from companionship, the main reason people get dogs is so that strangers chat them up in the park. Here are five breeds that definitely won’t get you laid.
These little dogs certainly look cute, but they’re a conversational black hole because every chat will immediately be about the Queen. And unless you happen to share a particularly odd kink, there isn’t much flirty chat to be had about our 94-year-old head of state.
These poor dogs suffer from a bad reputation which means that everyone who encounters you will assume you’re a terrifying psychopath who recently got out of prison and is looking for the local illegal dog fight. The only people who won’t give you an incredibly wide berth will be very scary themselves.
Take one of these massive pointy-eared brutes out for a stroll and the message you’re sending out is ‘I decided to get a pet which is actually a guard dog favoured by the police, security guards and the Nazis’. This may put some people off.
A pug’s tiny legs mean you will be dawdling unattractively round your local park like an old lady and, even if by some miracle someone did approach you for a chat, their wheezy breathing will distract from any flirting. Plus it’s impossible to look cool when you have to bend down to pick up a teeny tiny shit.
Are these dogs beautiful or do they look like the canine version of Paul Hollywood? Either way, they’re known to be a nightmare to train which means you have only chosen one because it looks like you own a wolf. People will assume you’re a tragic macho weirdo who probably also collects samurai swords.