Woman happily falls down stairs to avoid stepping on cat

A WOMAN who fell down a flight of stairs to avoid stepping on her cat has confirmed she would happily do it again.

Emma Bradford revealed the reasons for her fall after arriving for work on crutches and quite heavily bruised.

Bradford said: “It was me or the cat and I know how much she hates it when people stand on her. I don’t think people consider that enough in life.

“It wasn’t a choice, as such, to fall down all the stairs but it quickly became the only other option.

“It’s certainly had its downside, but I wouldn’t describe it as a bad decision.”

Bradford’s cat, Daisy added: “I would have called her an ambulance, but I don’t have a mobile.”

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Middle-class couple interviewing turkeys

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are interviewing a shortlist of six turkeys to decide which one will grace their Christmas table. 

Eleanor and Iain Shaw have been narrowing down the list since August and are almost ready to name the special bird that will take pride of place at this year’s Yuletide feast.

Eleanor said: “We’re not one of those gauche couples who suddenly turn up at the village butcher in November, expecting his best turkey. Those people may as well get one frozen from Aldi.

“We’ve met farmers, discussed breeds, slaughter methods and hanging, and now we’re interviewing our final six face-to-face. Getting to know them. It’s the only responsible way.

“We’ll discuss background, diet, what kind of recipes and presentational style they favour, what they feel they can bring to the Shaw household.

“Then I anticipate there’ll be some hard bargaining between Iain and I – he’s set on a Black Spanish, I lean more towards a German-bred Narragansett – before we notify the lucky winner.

“It’d very important that we have a bird with whom we have built a personal relationship.”