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7 deeply irrational ways to celebrate the royal birth

A POSH woman you don’t know has had a baby. Amazing. But are you unsure how to celebrate because it would be insane? Here are some suggestions:

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No one gives a tuppenny f**k what you dreamt about last night

IT may have featured Tom Hardy in arseless chinos and an alien horse invasion but no one wants to hear your dream, it has been confirmed.

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