Ask Holly: I have no previous experience in expressing genuine emotion

Dear Holly,

I owe some people an apology, but I have no previous experience in expressing genuine emotion. How do I do that thing where you look all remorseful and a solitary tear rolls slowly down your face? I think that would be effective. Also, do you think maybe a cute personalised apology card from moonpig.com might get everyone off my back?

Dave

Westminster

Dear Dave,

You just need practice – you need to start doing stupid stuff on a regular basis and that way you become good at apologising. I think that’s why my dad always makes a point of forgetting his wedding anniversary, so that when he does something REALLY daft, like getting drunk and doing a wee in the wardrobe, he is fully rehearsed in the art of expressing remorse.

Hope that helps,

Holly