Ask Holly: I just want to play with my train set

Dear Holly,

Being a septuagenarian rockstar ain’t easy. I have to tour the world when all I really want to do is stay in the hotel playing with my painstakingly detailed model trains. I’ve been promoting my album in the US which is additionally hard because I’m missing out on what naughty japes Wilson, Brewster and Koko are up to in Chuggington. I love nothing better than catching up with the novice train crew whilst sipping on a Fruit Shoot. How can I make myself feel less sad? I feel a bit of a tantrum coming on.

Rod Stewart

No fixed abode

Dear Rod,

I’ve not been keeping up with Chuggington, mostly because it’s for stupid babies, but also because I prefer to extract myself from the twee middle-class world that CBeebies inhabits. I enjoy a more gritty televisual landscape where dudes are called Daffy and Goofy and Sheriff Callie and Doc McStuffins and are all totally badass and hard as nails. You wouldn’t catch Minnie Mouse hanging out with posh gits called Lola and Topsy, she is much more interested in keeping it real.

Hope that helps!