Ask Holly: Please help me, I’ve just married Geri Halliwell

Dear Holly,

I’ve just got married to Geri Halliwell. Is there anything at all you can do to help me?



Dear Christian,

Making bad decisions is an inherent part of being a pre-pubescent schoolgirl. This is why I’m not allowed to drive a car or have my own bank account or advise you on a mortgage. It’s totally not my fault – it’s because my pre-frontal cortex is not yet fully developed. But there’s not much point trying to sit down and explain neurological architecture to some angry chap whose dog you just shot in the bum with a potato gun. Just run and hide, as fast as you can.

Hope that helps,