Ask Holly: We're going to put on a massive concert to end Nigel Farage - Do you think we can pull it off?

Dear Holly,
Everyone knows I’m good at using my pop credentials to fight the forces of evil. Well I’m going to get Bono, George Michael, Duran Duran and everyone else who’s not dead yet and we’re going to put on a massive concert to end Nigel Farage in the UK. We’ll write a hit song called ‘Tell Me Why I Don’t Like the EU’ and we’ll make loads of money and all boost our careers and save the world yet again but we won’t tell Phil Collins because he’s really annoying. Do you think we can pull it off?
Bob G

Dear Bob,
I’m too young to get a vote in the referendum, but I definitely would vote Remain because if Brexit happens the British people will no longer have access to Nutella or Toblerone or Ferrero Rocher, which would be nothing short of a CATASTROPHE. I think Boris Johnson, of all people, has overlooked this.
Hope that helps,

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Prince Philip ever so proud

THE Duke of Edinburgh is absolutely delighted to see his grandson on the cover of a gay magazine. 

The Prince Consort, who is 95 years old and grew up during World War Two, believes that the heir to the throne’s Attitude cover is exactly what a father-of-two should be doing right now.

Brigadier Julian Cook, the Prince’s private secretary, said: “When the Duke spotted the cover I explained it was a periodical for unspeakables of the Oscar Wilde sort and he gave an involuntary cry of approval.

“Obviously being Greek and of a naval background makes him very liberal-minded, which is why he feels comfortable referring to them in such informal and colourful terms.

“He actually doesn’t think the cover is enough, or so I presume from his remark that William ‘might as run naked down Horse Guards Parade with ostrich feathers up his arse.’

“He is literally glowing, and indeed shaking, with pride.”

Prince Philip said: “Give me bloody strength.”