PRIME minister David Cameron promised that Liverpool would be incorporated into Wales if they beat England in a major football tournament.
The pledge was made in 2010 as part of a deal over additional powers for the Welsh Assembly.
Cameron said: “There seemed as much chance of Argentina invading the Faroe Islands as Wales qualifying for an international tournament, let alone meeting England.
“Who knew about Gareth Bale? We thought all we had to worry about was Robson-Kanu.”
Under the terms of the deal, Liverpudlians would be required to speak Welsh, accept Charles as their true Prince and learn how to bake moreish, sugary little cakes.
Meanwhile, The Beatles, Stan Boardman and the sitcom Bread would all become towering achievements of Welsh culture.
David Cameron said, “I suppose in hindsight I should have held some sort of referendum on the subject but they’re always an idiotic and disastrous idea.
“Never ask the British anything. You don’t want to hear the answer.”