It’s suddenly ever so nippy down here in Hell. All the fires have gone out, there are icicles hanging from the ceiling and even the Great Lake of Pitch has started to freeze over. I’m wearing two jumpers and some bed socks but I’m still chilled to the bone. I think there is something seriously wrong with the Satanic thermostat – what’s going on up there on Earth?
Everyone knows girls can’t be President of America. Girls are supposed to be Princesses. They don’t do boring mannish stuff like run a country wearing ugly suits. Princesses spend their time brushing their long golden hair, singing pretty songs and talking to woodland creatures. Once in a while we’re allowed to do empowering stuff like turn the kingdom to ice and tell everyone to get lost, but most of the time we’re just hanging about waiting for the goofy handsome prince to turn up.
Hope that helps,