Ask Holly: Why can’t Brits become tantric sex gods?

Dear Holly,

I’ve got a theory on why Brits are less aspirational than Americans: they are workshy gits who have no idea of the hard graft required to make it as an international superstar and tantric sex god. Unless Philip Hammond can train the UK workforce to sustain an orgasm for five hours then you’re all doomed. Don’t you agree?


New York

Dear Sting,

More importantly, what about poor old Kanye? I’ve got a pretty good idea what happened – someone must have eaten far too many fruit gums and then been sick all over his lovely new white couch and it made him go completely insane. I know this because that’s what happened to my mummy. Don’t worry, they didn’t have to handcuff her, she just shouted and cried a lot and drank quite a lot of wine.

Hope that helps