Something strange is going on. Basically, I say one thing but actually mean the complete opposite: it’s really rather odd. So, for example, as I said last year, I am really against selective education and won’t be reinstating grammar schools…and yet now I find myself approving the first selective state school in the UK for fifty years. What’s going on with me? Aren’t I silly?!
I would love to go to a posh girls’ school where they wear stupid hats and blazers and fight each other with hockey sticks. I would be called Valentina or Henrietta or something rubbish and I’d ride my pony to school. All the girls would form a hierarchy based on who had the shiniest hair and sometimes we would all faint for no reason. When it was over I would become a London-based media professional with an irritating laugh.
Hope that helps!